Wednesday, February 24, 2010

Sisters Need Love Too....

Recently, Essence has a magazine cover with Reggie Bush on it. The issue said "Live Your Fantasy"...10 of the sexiest black men. The guy is an ideal choice: young, rich, well-built,etc. Essence magazine is known for being devoted to BLACK WOMEN. The magazine that most black women read for fashion, gossip, healthy lifestyles, relationships, etc.
Well, this ploy to clearly exploit the man at a good time, Superbowl, totally backfired. I mean a Twitter #fail. here are some responses from women upset with Essence.
This Brotha don’t dig us, so why, pray tell, do we have to see his face staring back at us, on a magazine that celebrates US? This disappoints me. It’s an insult! Later for Reggie Bush and all the other Brothas who turn their back on the black woman once they are successful.
“Why put a man who clearly prefers the bottom of the barrel of white women than a good black woman on your cover? Clearly, he has no love for the sisters. This magazine is supposed to empower black women not remind us of the disadvantages that we face in today’s society. Please don’t insult our intelligence.”

I understand why so many black women are up in arms about it. I will admit there are too many brothers who are leaving black women to venture out to white women. One of my followers of my blog said that, "Essence was irresponsible." I can understand why she is saying this about Essence. Now..here is where I leave my thoughts.....I am not a black woman but I don't really feel that Essence made a huge mistake. He is dating a white woman. When did one white woman become the sign he has no love for the sisters??? When has Reggie said, I will never date a sister?? What if this woman makes him truly happy?? Yes, I know he cheated but it's Reggie. I don't think anyone should be crucified for their preference in a PERSON. Damn race. In the end, it's all about the person. I will openly admit, I believe stick to your own color lines BUT I understand that at essence, it's the person who makes you happy. Also, let's be honest, many women love Reggie Bush and his physique. Let him drop that white girl and we aren't having this conversation. 6 months later they can throw him on the cover and no one will say anything.

She also said something else I found interesting..."what are we teaching are black men?" OK, I feel that we teach PEOPLE, back men included, be with who makes you happy. I think we assume it is implied that they are supposed to be with their own race. As a child, your parents may have made some reference to you about sticking to your own but was it taught?? No. Don't lie. I really don't think that is a conversation parents drive home. There was a time when interracial relationships just didn't happen. This is a new day and age. The whole implication that we are just supposed to be with your race....doesn't apply. If one feels that strongly about it, we need to say something. ....thank you for taking a look into My Thoughts....


Wednesday, February 3, 2010

Is 2 YearsLong Enough??


I had a debate with one of my friends. She said that in two years of dating someone you know if you are going to marry them or not. I was like, ummm no. I just do not agree with that notion that two years is enough to know if you are going to marry someone. But I will say two years is long enough to get an idea are they potential to be married. Add-2 said it best in his song Martin and Gina."When it comes to relationship, in beginning you never meet the real them, just a representative." It is always so good in the beginning because everything is so fresh and fun. No real work has to be put in the relationship to make sure it survives. You guys are just feeling each other out which I think should last for at least a month. After about 6 months you two start somewhat investing time into each other. This is a period where one still feels hesitant to be themselves and speak out on what really annoys them. They are still at that stage where a little issue can be taken out of context with no strings to really keep them around.
Slowly more of the person is starting to come out. Their representative is not there as often and you are beginning to deal with he real them more often. Not to say you weren't dealing with them before but think about how much comfortable you become as time advances....think about it.....Feel me?? I thought you would. So more and more time passes and now you two have seen each other for who you are. A year in. Now after a year, every damn thing that annoyed you will begin to spew out over time. Leads to more arguments and disagreements. Now you could be one of those fools who wants to change them and manage how you feel the relationship should be heading. Now there are more and more arguments. One didn't know the other was like that.
Long story short, there are too many things to discover about a person to definitively say that after two years of dating we ARE going to be married. Like I said earlier, that is a sufficient amount of time to know if they have potential to be married. Also as I have been saying, there is more to learn about a person over time. Two years is plenty of time to keep them in mind to be potential but not to KNOW if you are to be wed in matrimony....Thank you for taking a look into My Thoughts...