Saturday, October 23, 2010

My Thoughts on Black Marriage Negotiations and Black Dating

These two recent videos of black dating have really sparked my interest. There have been a lot of opinions from black men and black women. Most brothers who I have talked to have all had the same general consensus, the videos are telling the truth!! Here are some comments. My friend Brandon said, " ‎*clapping hands* Whoever are creating these clips I'm giving them a round of applause. They speak the truth." My friend Chris said, " I'm not saying that they all talk like this but a lot of them are reading from the same handbook and it's scary." Marcus said, " The worst part is that there are women out here like that and they bring absolutely nothing to the table and expect a guy to bring everything."

My Thoughts
are...I agree with most of what the videos have to say. Ladies I am a strong advocate for you but I will not ever say that you all are not an enigma to deal with at times. A few things I will touch on in the film. She eludes to what she wants in a man but can't find it when it is sitting right there in front of her. I am so tired of Black women saying there are no good Black men out there. That is a a lie damnit! there are plenty of great Black men in the world but unfortunately Black women tend to look elsewhere. I have seen too many Black women who have aspiring futures in front of them but date someone who doesn't have half the potential she does. He doesn't share the same belief. She thinks she can "help inspire" him get his life together. Let's call a spade a spade. You're trying to change him. THAT WON'T HAPPEN. Then when they get treated improperly, there are no good Black men. Look in the mirror!!! Listen to Jazmine Sullivan I'm in Love with Another Man to see if I'm lying. She depicts the Black man that a lot of women are looking for but yet she still turns her back on him. I know most will say follow your heart, and I agree, but she had a great man that most black women want and she still betrayed him. Another thing I found interesting was the fact when talking about submission, she believe everything in the Bible but this. SMH. In my opinion, I think women feel that they are losing a part of themselves when they submit to a man. But if they opened up their eyes, they would see that man is willing to submit to them too. If he loves you the way you want, then your submission should be out of love because if he is a good man, he will treat you like the queens you are. I hate to say it like this, but White women, in my opinion, are better at submitting to their husbands than Black women which could be a reason why they have a much higher marriage rate. A man won't marry a woman who won't submit. If he does, he is a fool.
Another thing I have to address, is the declination of sex in the relationship she speaks of in the video. If women do this, they are treading the waters. You can't go from 4 times a week to 4 times a month in an instant. He's got needs you were willing to satisfy at one point. You know your man. You know when he needs his medicine lol. One more thing that pissed me off about this video. When the man was willing to submit to her stipulations, he is weak. It's like, what the heck do you want?!?!?! That is a man who sees the potential in starting a future with you that he will put his pride aside and try to make it work. (FYI:There is no room for egos in a good relationship) But he gets called weak. Well, fuck you!!! Sorry for the language but I had to say it.

In video number 2, we have a girl who starts off the video with breaking up with a man on the path to success. Once again we have a good black man who is about to do something with his life and his woman is asking for some unreal things. She goes down a list of guys she wants and all have extreme flaws. My point in bringing up that list is to highlight that some Black women have a very poor selection in men. My favorite was the Lebron James situation. A man who won't commit. I have met so many women who have ambiguous titles with the men they deal with. There is no real commitment to them but yet they still want to be with him. She can date him for months and still no commitment. She can give him all the things a good woman could give and still no commitment. Rather than get with with a good brother who is willing to commit, they vest their time in that dead end situation. Another thing that I had to touch was the crazy accusations when a man won't fight for her. Look, if you're not worth fighting for, what's the point in wasting time. She made herself look deplorable but gets mad when a man won't fight to save the relationship. If you were worth fighting for, trust me, that man would bug you to the point of insanity. Another thing I had to touch on was the social network stalking. My gosh. This one goes for everybody. We can not stalk our mates on social networks. That isn't right. Remember, your mate has other friends besides you of BOTH sexes. Just because you're in the picture doesn't mean he or she drops their friends. Who knows, in a week or two, you may not be around. The last thing I have to touch on. STOP LETTING TV DETERMINE YOUR GOOD RELATIONSHIP. Half of what you see is true in determining what will work in a good relationship. Take the time to know your man and let you two determine a good relationship.

Look, I don't despise the Black woman. I love the Black woman. The darker the better lol. No offense to the caramel macchiato sisters. I just won't bite my tongue at things I see as true. I have mad love for the sisters of this world and I always will. But I must stand up for the brothers...thank you for taking a look into My Thoughts....

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