Wednesday, May 25, 2011

Love can be easy but you make it hard....Period

"Love is one of the easiest things to do. We make it difficult with all of our "hidden" issues." I did not say this. A woman said this on YouTube commenting on that Jazmine Sullivan song In Love with Another Man.
I agree with her. I think a lot of women pay a lot of lip service how simple love is but there are so many hidden issues that never come in to surface that affect the course of growing this love into the potential thing that it could be. I look at that video and I just wonder how many good men get passed up by women like this guy. Then when men date down, he is settling. Well, what can you expect when good men are getting passed up? But I digress. My point is to say yes I agree with this person and their sentiment about her own gender.
Women can have a plethora of hidden issues that they won't bring up because they feel that it may not be important but then it becomes very important in the relationship and get mad when the guy can't handle it or wasn't ready to handle that. Hidden issues sometimes manifest itself in fits of anger that their mate can never truly seem to suppress no matter how hard they try. These hidden issues sometimes may forge a distance that she won't talk about that can be so potentially dangerous. Being in a committed relationship can be painful, bewildering, consuming, rewarding, wondrous. People want their partners to share creatively life's experiences of loss, loneliness, desire, excitement and hope. If our relationship is good, we want it better; if our relationship is pained or damaged, we want repair and renewal. When women lock away those hidden issues how can there be a foster of love? (And I'm not saying men don't have these issues but I'm talking about the ladies here. A lady said it and I want to comment on it)
Everyone has the potential to make his or her relationship more successful, joyful and long lasting. When these hidden issues stay inside, there is no chance from the start. I have been in dating situations where certain hidden issues in women, which I was made aware of after dating, stunted the growth of our relationship. It was always, " I didn't know how you would take it" or " I thought I could control it". I get their logic but all that did was make me want to take a few steps back rather than continue to forward with the project. Because after all these hidden issues keep surfacing and with no progress, all this become is a project. A project I'm just not on board to help you fix. Give me the chance to accept you for who you are. Tell me your issues so I can help you with them together and learn to understand more about you and maybe re-evaluate my ways of doing things to help you. But when you keep them too hidden, and they resurface in a negative manner than you're unwilling to divulge, the show needs to stop there...thank you for taking a look into My Thoughts...

No comments: