Monday, February 29, 2016

I'm the Problem. I'm the Solution

I said this on Facebook the other day, " The hardest thing for unhappy people to do is: Make Changes". That is such a true statement in itself. Many of us, don't want to execute the change that could be the difference in our happiness.

We sadly dwell in our unhappiness and settling more often than what we need to in life. Why do we do that? It seems unfathomable that we would subject ourselves to that level of complacency but we do it far too often. I have always said my greatest enemy is my inner me. That is the truth. How many times have we told ourselves what we can't do? Do you catch yourself just being the least hopeful about your situation while everyone around you believes in you?

Sometimes our problem is that we talk a lot about what we want for our lives and our future but haven't exactly taken the steps to get there. I blogged about this earlier, about how we settle into our comfort zones. I know that I settled in mine in a few areas. I nearly lost some things that meant a lot to me because of it and rightfully so. I got complacent in my success and there is no security in comfort. Sounds weird right? Again there is no security in comfort. Comfort can make you weak. Comfort can ruin ambition. When you're uncomfortable that's where you dig deep and make demands of yourself to be better.

So the solution is simple: Make changes. Some people say, "I'm afraid of change. Or I don't take change well." Well work through it because what you're doing now isn't working! We are our biggest barriers in life sometimes and I know that drives us nuts at times. I know it does to me when I get my head out of my ass to realize it. Change isn't easy by no means, but what do you lose by trying something different? We all can be the answer to our problems if we are willing to change...thank you for taking a look into My Thoughts...

Sunday, February 28, 2016

Red Flags

The color Red. When we think of the color red, we think of it being the color of passion. Think about it. When we see women in very provocative/sexy red dresses, eyes and loins become excited. A lot of lingerie is red. On Valentine’s Day, there is so much red on that day. Hearts are red. Roses are red and are seen as the typical flowers to be sent. But sometimes the red means something else. Stop. Do not pass go. Something is wrong to the point you should not try and pass this point. That is the red we often try to ignore in life. Those red flags.

Why are we so afraid of those red flags in our lives? Could it be those red flags mean you have to stop this route to your desired destination? Possibly. Honestly, people hate to acknowledge the red of halting or correction. Yet, we have a tendency to blitz through those red flags and signs because we want it our way, on our terms. Often times that is a mistake. Red sometimes means you need to be saved from yourself.

Let’s look at it…

Some people in our lives are trying to show you the red flags. There will be some people who will come in our lives who we don’t want to believe are not good for us so instead we ignore all the red flags. Big mistake. You have to look at the red flags and address them. It will help guide your decision making on how/if you should move forward with your relationship. I am a firm believer you should confront those red flags early with the person. I think you should give the other party an opportunity to correct/change what gives you pause. There are extreme cases you just say 2 fingers: Peace! As I said, there are some red flags we have to acknowledge. Acknowledge this person may not need to be in your life. Not because they are a bad person, and they may be, but because the pain of this relationship may be a bit too much. You could catch yourself hurting all the time at the very things which gave you pause from the beginning. Please, don’t do that to yourself. Be strong and walk away. You won’t see it now but you have done yourself and that party the biggest favor.

Sometimes the job you are trying to show you the red flags. We have jobs where we are feeling under-appreciated and we are not growing. Those are red flags you MUST pay attention to if you plan to grow yourself into a better person over all. I have been at jobs where I’m like, “why am I doing this?’ I know I need the check but seriously, I am not going anywhere. Particularly, a few years ago, I left a job I loathed. I knew I wasn’t passionate about it. The job I left it for was so great. I made more $$. I got to display talent and learn some newer ones. That job lost funding and I ended up back at the previous one. I told myself maybe I could like it a bit more now that I know the ropes. The same red flags that made me leave smacked me right in my face in week 2 of me being there. For 4 months daily, I applied to new jobs and interviewed for ones I didn’t get. I knew if I stayed there too long, I would never be where I am today. I work a job which has afforded me to live in two cities, let me be part of real strategy building, makes me feel appreciated, and cares about the places I want to grow in.

I could ramble on about more scenarios but it’s unnecessary. Just be sure to be sure you are looking at the red flags in your life. Confront them. If there is nothing you can do to make them go away when it’s in the control of another party, then move on. That is in your control…thank you for taking a look into My Thoughts… 

Thursday, February 11, 2016

It's the Principle of the Matter

OK. I am trying to be a man of more principle. I think we all would like to view ourselves as people of principle. At least I hope. And those principles are the things that drive our decision-making, good or bad. Because of my principles in regards to the treatment of Black people, I can not and will not under any condition endorse nor vote for Hilary Clinton. The sins that the Clinton committed towards Black people are just too much for me to ever endorse her for anything.

I assume many of you have read the wonderful piece by Michelle Alexander at this . If not, go ahead and read it. She is well-known for her book: The New Jim Crow. In this recent piece written by Ms. Alexander, she clearly articulates as to why the Clintons have done little to NOTHING to earn the loyalty of the Black vote. Please read it!!

Look, let me say this. If you want to vote for Hilary because you feel she is the best candidate, I totally understand and support you exercising your democratic right to vote. After all, it is your choice. I just know for me, I can't do it. I cannot bring myself to support a Clinton when I think about how their policies have ravaged Black people. They are not the worst of human beings. I'm sure of that. I will not demonize them as people but I very much hate the policy they put in place which has done so much harm to Black people, men in particular. They made deep cuts to programs which have left the Black race reeling even years later. How many young boys to men had their futures snatched from them? Then saying they can't be educated in part of "rehabilitation" for their crimes? 

Yes, in recent years they have apologized but what have they done to make it right? President Barack Obama at the NAACP conference last year talked heavily about sentencing reform. The Clinton should have been campaigning across the nation in an apology campaign with real steps and policy to make amends. Hilary does address this in her campaign but she has no real policy. Just ideas like many people running. 

Read Ms. Alexander's piece please. As I said, it's a matter of principle as to why I will NOT vote for Hilary. Apologies are cute and all but usually followed with progressive steps and ACTIONS to make it better. I have yet to see the latter...thank you for taking a look into My Thoughts..